What should I drink this weekend?
Leaving for PCB today!!!!!!!!
Panama City beach, Florida, here I come!!!!!!!!! Will be posting lots of photos I’m sure (-:
men keep hitting me
women keep choosing men over me
friends who i treat better than anyone continue to find others who leave them and im still here when they want me back
i need to fucking drink myself to sleep
im going to go in fucking sane
congrats my parents can be drunk for two weeks straight
feel like this year of school is going to ten times worse…my moms a psychopath when shes drunk and has to wake up at 5 30 in the morning to get us up/i have to wake her up and she breaks things and yells at me and refuses to take me to school
aka thank you dad for buying me a car even though you have aspergers and laugh at me when i tell you anything and think i make things up in my head aka i make up my allergies to cats in my head okay and its my fault my mom and stepdad used my child support to pay the bills and buy alcohol and drugs, why you hold that against ME i dont know…?
ps im having a horrible summer, my “friends” are being asses, my depression and anxiety levels are extremely high, my parents are drunk every night, im sick of sitting in this hot room all day/night, im turning into an old woman making crafts, schools about to start aka back to psychotic mom, and hating holidays, and people complaining about how bad their parents are when they (have jobs, go to their jobs, still married, care about where you are/what you’re doing, have rules, give you a curfew, want to spend time with you, talk to you, listen to you, dont get drunk after you try and have a serious conversation with you, or laugh and scoff at everything you say and consistently call you a liar, and that you make up everything, and that they don’t drink and they’re acting “weird/drunk” because of you, you make them that way.) don’t treat you bad at all, but treat you like a good parent should.
sometimes i just want to drive my car into the river
i just wish someone would believe me or care or anything went to therapy when i was 13-14, my mom lied and said she’d have 1-3 drinks once a week. they never believed anything i said and told me i had teen angst, if it was teen angst why would i still be complaining about the same thing after 5 years?
took the first step
and left home..
at least for one night
she was crying so hard
she never cries or apologizes or begs me
its not so easy huh
when you’re the one being left
i love my mom
i really fucking do
but being forced into this constant depression
dealing with the stress of being a fucking parent
when im only a fucking child
no one appreciates how far ive fucking gotten
you continue to drink every fucking night
even though i fucking beg
you lie and lie and tell me im dillusional
i love you but i fucking hate him
and the way ive been treated for
twelve fucking years
i cant keep doing this